Transformers: Age of Extinction - Review
(Photo from Paramount Pictures)
Having previously played the heedless meathead jock in Pain and Gain and the bong-smoking best bud of a crude talking bear in Ted, Mark Wahlberg has all but solidified himself as an unlikely choice of actor to play the role of a genius.
That makes it difficult to come to terms with his new character, Cade Yeager who introduces himself as an ‘inventor’. He also has a poster of Albert Einstein in his barn-turned-‘laboratory’, which infuriatingly suggests there might be a glimmer of brilliance in Michael Bay’s new protagonist. If there is, it’s with an alien gun, and being an action hero. Shock.
Like most Hollywood family guys, Yeager isn’t afraid to get stuck in when gigantic alien robots threaten Earth’s existence for a fourth time. In fact, he gets things started himself when stumbling upon a rusty old 18-wheeler truck. And for those who are still unaware of this repetitive reveal, that truck is Optimus Prime – the mac daddy of 30ft mechanical beasts.
Soon after Prime is discovered, CIA goons flood Yeager’s property, pointing guns every which way. Despite saving the day three times before, the Autobots are now being hunted down under the instruction of operative Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer), in the aim of ridding the Earth of Transformers altogether. He’s also working with a Transformer bounty hunter, who’s trying to deliver Optimus back to his makers.
When Optimus finally decides to unravel, the unexplainable fireworks and explosions – that seem to occur simply when he walks – commence, and Michael Bay becomes uncontrollably excited.
Bay reaffirms himself as an auteur by coupling his high-concept action with those infamous low-angle camera shots of his characters standing around looking lost. There are a laughable amount of these, but that’s not nearly as embarrassing as the number of shameful product placements. The worst of which is the Beats Pill, shoved right in your face by billionaire tech wiz Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci).
Joyce has just discovered ‘Transformium’ – the metal of… the Transformers, and he can program it to turn into anything. Whatever it is, he’s going to thrust it in front of the camera and wave it around until you go and buy it.
Tucci’s role begins to baffle when he suddenly becomes the comic relief in a ludicrous Transformer battle. “Oh my God!” he screams as an entire sea ship falls from the sky, miraculously killing no one, but adding to the toll of torn up metal. Soon after he’s involved in the film’s worst scene, which sees him wait an unearthly length of time for a lift door to close.
Meanwhile, the fight between various Transformers is getting out of hand. There’s explosions, slow-mo pirouettes, crumbling buildings and… Optimus Prime has mounted the back of a robot dinosaur that breathes fire. What an utter mess.
Verdict:
It would be redundant to pine for former protagonist Shia LaBeouf because Wahlberg isn’t the issue here. If anything, a mechanic turned action-man is a refreshing alternative to the whiny Witwiky. The problem – and it appears to be worsening in each film – is Bay’s obsession with his own style of filmmaking. Instead of having us on the edge of our seats, we passively wait for the next action sequence and slow panning shot of Nicola Peltz’s legs.
