Technology, Sex and Scarlett Johansson
Have you seen that film called Her? The one where Joaquin Pheonix from Gladiator has sex with Scarlett Johansson, only he's not having sex with Scarlett Johansson, he's having it with an operating system that just happens to have Scarlett Johansson's voice. Yeah, you probably haven't seen it. I'm sure you'd remember what Scarlett Johansson's post coital groans sound like if you had. But anyway, it's a pretty decent film. Did I mention Scarlett Johansson is in it?
Yes, SodaStream's new pinup gal libidinously voices the lovely artificial intelligence called Samantha in Spike Jonze's Her - a romantic film which sees a very weird, lonely writer fall in love with his new operating system. It's set in the near future - a copout to avoid the costs of CGI flying cars if you ask me. Nonetheless, Jonze paints a vivid image of a postmodern world where humanity's dependence on technology has grown so strong that we can't even be arsed to date real human beings anymore.
I was glad I watched this for a number of reasons - one being Scarlett Johansson - but mainly because I've been looking for a good enough excuse to talk about technology for ages. Whether it's good or bad, I'm not sure, but I can't see our future being too dissimilar to the one proposed in Her. Everyone's knocking about with some sort of phone or tablet, which has the user completely enslaved. They're staring into cameras even though no one's on the other end, only to have their own lobotomised-like expression projected right back in front of them on the device's screen.
I guess I'm going to have to say this is a bad thing - that is if you don't really dig the whole walking around, drooling on your Diadora trainers while frantically bidding for new, slather-free footwear on eBay. But hey, you should come to Northampton. Earlier today I saw a funny fellow struggling to lift his feet off the floor; one, because he had what looked like a deformed ankle and two, his shoes didn't fit. He was also sucking air out of the side of his face like a rapidly suffocating beached whale. Dribble everywhere. And this guy didn't even have an iPad! He might have been able to order some appropriate 'creps' if he did. You know what, I'm changing my mind. Let's all be mindless screen-gazing drones. At least we'll be able to order clothes to cover up the droniness.
Seriously though, is it really a bad thing if we become even more consumed by our gadgetry? What actual effect will it have on us if we keep heading in the same direction? If Her is an accurate prediction of the future then it doesn't seem too depressing. Just remember not to shag your computer and you'll be alright. Having said that, the majority of conversations at present are held via technology, which means we are physically interacting less than ever. When you consider how many pricks there are in the world it's no surprise really.
What we don't want replicated from the film is the new imagining of cyber intercourse, which is essentially phone sex, but far more accessible. I feel the playboys of this world may have something to say if a computer company offers women a mess-free way out. Durex would probably be pretty pissed off too.
But how can you have a relationship over text messages? Well, that's pretty much what people do now, unless they're living together. The average person most likely talks to their other half through technology more than they do in person. That's on the basis that they're one of those snooty couples that text each other four billion times a day. Enough about relationships and all that flouncy shit though, what about flying cars and toasters that burn your initials into the bread? You what? We've already got those? Shit. We're quite clever really, aren't we?
I think I have to credit The Ricky Gervais Show for this debate, but at some point someone said everything that needs to be invented has been invented. Obviously it's impossible to agree with this, but if we consider that the future is limited by our imagination then all we'll be able to produce is the junk we see in films like Minority Report. Sliding holographic screens everywhere that we can operate with cool-looking gloves and retinal scanners. Again, we have these things already. So either Spielberg is getting lazy or the technology of the future is not necessarily new, but just a different way of using it. Take iPhones for example – they're still the same thing, just smarter. Better cameras, more sophisticated operating systems and faster Internet speeds, but still an iPhone. Maybe our luck ran out after the discovery of silicon and we're now waiting for a spaceship to crash on earth, so we can pull out all sorts of weird and wonderful things that make our cars hover. Either that or it will be like a Primark sale free-for-all, where everyone jumps in and rips the ship apart only to find a two hundred million year-old transmission of Friends.
Her really had an impact on me, as you might be able to tell. Not because of the storyline - even though it was brilliant - but because of the director's image of the future. It evoked a frightening realisation that we're probably only a couple of years away from talking to computers in the way they do in the film. Admittedly, I already do that when I'm effing and jeffing at the self-service checkout in ASDA. 'Thank you for using the fast lane' my arse. Screw it. Bring on the computers that sound like Scarlett Johansson.
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